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D:\www\www765\dotclear\inc\libs\lib.date.php on line 35 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\layout\functions.php on line 204 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\inc\libs\lib.date.php on line 35 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\layout\functions.php on line 204 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\inc\libs\lib.date.php on line 35 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\layout\functions.php on line 204 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\inc\libs\lib.date.php on line 35 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\layout\functions.php on line 204 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\inc\libs\lib.date.php on line 35 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\layout\functions.php on line 204 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\inc\libs\lib.date.php on line 35 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\layout\functions.php on line 204 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\inc\libs\lib.date.php on line 35 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\layout\functions.php on line 204 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\inc\libs\lib.date.php on line 35 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\layout\functions.php on line 204 Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in D:\www\www765\dotclear\inc\libs\lib.date.php on line 35 Le blog de François Maret
 
Le blog de François Maret

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jeudi 05 avril 2012

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jeu
05
avr '12

Gilles Surchat


Encore un grand moment d'émotion : hop clic pour admirer et soutenir Gilles Surchat


Maret Le Miblog

'Tain quel talent ces Kucholl et Veillon : tendresse, humour, actualité, intelligence !!!

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jeu
05
avr '12

Discours officiel


Le bâtiment du Cycle des Collines (j'y enseigne depuis 1991) a fêté ses 50 ans ce mercredi. Caramba ! Grosse fête : concert, spectacle des élèves (chant, danse, musique, théâtre...) la totale pour deux jours de bonne humeur et de joie. On ne peut éviter la partie officielle : repas et discours. Désigné volontaire consentant, voici mon discours, pour mes collègues qui me l'ont demandé. Et pour les autres, je ne vous cause plus... jusqu'au retour des vacances.


Madame la Présidente de la Confédération européenne, mesdames les Conseillères fédérales, Madame la Cheffe de service du corps disciplinaire de l'enseignement et de la censure, Madame La Doyenne de l'Inspectorat intercantonal, Madame La Directrice Communautaire, Madame la Présidente de L’Aglo Sion-Martigny-Vevey, chères invitées et chères collègues, Mesdames et mesdames

Humblement je me présente à vous et vous remercie de l'honneur qui m'est fait de pouvoir prendre la parole devant une si noble et si gracieuse assemblée.

Le Cycle des Collines est en joie. Notre glorieuse institution fête ses 150 ans. Chiffre admirable s'il en est. 150 ans au service de l'enseignement avec un a majuscule. 150 ans de passion et d'engagement pour le bien de nos chers ados.

En cette année 2112, ce n'est pas en tant que dernier enseignant mâle de notre école qu'il m'est donné le plaisir de m'adresser à vous, mais bien comme dinosaure. Si si mesdames ne vous cachez pas, je sais bien que c'est ainsi que vous me surnommez. Chantal, a même utilisé le terme de fossile l'autre jour avec Sandra dans le solarium pendant que passais la panosse. Bref, le dinosaure est un peu la mémoire de ce lieu.

Effectivement, je fus un élève du Cycle des Collines dans les premières années de son existence quand il n'accueillait que des garçons. Quand le nombre d'étudiants atteignait péniblement les 200. Quel chemin parcouru depuis. Nous voici dans cette magnifique enceinte de la culture et du savoir, ce campus flambant neuf qui peut accueillir dorénavant pas moins de 25 000 jeunes, avides de connaissances. Combien de souvenirs fantastiques je pourrais vous conter ici... J'ai vécu cette mystérieuse époque durant laquelle les garçons, malgré leurs résultats médiocres, étaient encore intégrés à l'école publique. Qui me croirait parmi vous mesdames si je vous disais qu'il fut un temps où la gent féminine était en minorité dans le corps professoral du cycle d'orientation des Collines. Je vous vis arriver timides et modestes dans cet antre de la masculinité. Quelle joie de vous voir déambuler et de vous entendre gazouiller quand vous nous prépariez le café. Rapidement, nous comprîmes et découvrîmes vos compétences et vos qualités pédagogiques exceptionnelles. Grâce à vous, la fumée des cigarettes disparut de la salle des maîtresses, ainsi que la vulgarité, la bière et les beuveries des fins de journée. Pour faire place aux débats pédagogiques et vestimentaires. Je fus également témoin de ce que l'on nomma à l'époque "révolution informatique". Le passage du stencil à alcool aux beamers, aux écrans plats, aux tableaux interactifs de premières générations jusqu'aux connections neuronales intégrées. J'ai participé à toutes les formations. J'ai vécu les mises à jour Pac 1, Pac 2, Pac 3, jusqu'au grand formatage de 2024.

Je vécus l'école Montessori, la pédagogie Freynet, la pédagogie de projet, le travail de groupe, la pédagogie socio-constructiviste, la pédagogie de la motivation, différenciée, la gestion mentale, spiralaire, la déscolarisation neuronale, la pseudo-pédagogie élitiste, la pédagogie libertaire, la libératoire, la liberticide... La pédagogie post néocolonialiste, la pédagogie du divertissement sectoriel, la pédagogie politico-disciplinaire... J'ai tout vécu, tout subi.

J'ai vu débouler chez nous les premiers androïdes éducatifs. J'ai participé aux manifestations de mai 68, 2068, pour une école fermée. Je fus l'un des premiers à être désigné volontaire pour les implants nanotroniques pédagogiques. Si je suis toujours parmi vous en cette année de jubilé, je le dois à toutes ces prothèses et membres artificiels que notre association des maîtresses des Collines met à notre disposition jusqu'à notre retraite.

Mais nous sommes réunis ici non pas pour radoter et évoquer des souvenirs pratiquement néolithiques mais bien pour fêter les 150 ans du Cycle des Collines. S'il est nécessaire de remercier avec conviction et force nos glorieuses autorités pour leur soutien totalement hors du commun et leurs gigantesques efforts incessants et prodigieux pour promouvoir notre école et nous garder dans le juste chemin, je souhaiterais aujourd'hui remercier et féliciter mes chères collègues non seulement pour leurs tenues quotidiennes plus magnifiques les unes que les autres mais surtout pour leur engagement sans limite dans ce noble métier. Soyons fières mes sÅ“urs d'être ce rouage essentiel dans le développement des générations futures. Oui cette glorieuse institution qu'est le Cycle des Collines à l'égale d'Oxford, de Cambridge et de la mythique et regrettée Ecole polytechnique fédérale de Lausanne, oui le Cycle des Collines peut s'enorgueillir d'avoir accueilli en son sein les descendantes des plus nobles et importantes familles de notre planète. Je ne citerai que Madame Alysson Yasmine Obama héritière de la couronne royale américaine, ou Carla Isabelle Sarkosy 5ème du nom devenue première secrétaire à vie de la République impériale française, ou encore Gudrun Blocher-Hildebrand clone présidentiel du Consortium banquaire helvetico-international. La liste est longue. Le palmarès est prestigieux. Et modestement nous y avons participé. Dans le monde entier, comme un phare de culture, résonne ce nom : Cycle des Collines.

Chaque fois que je prononce ce glorieux nom, j'éprouve comme vous certainement une fierté sans limite. Oui je fus et je suis encore l'un des enseignantes du cycle des Collines. Et les regards plein de respect de la population admirative, des parents soumis et de nos élèves subjugués, ces regards nourrissent ma passion indéfectible pour ce beau métier, cette vocation, cet apostolat, ce choix de vie. J'ose le dire, j'ai réussi ma vie d'être humaine et d'enseignant ! Le jour arrive où je descendrai de mon estrade professorale et quitterai le Cycle des Collines, le front haut et dégarni, le cÅ“ur empli de l'honneur d'avoir été l'une des vôtres.

Voilà, trêve de bavardage. Aujourd'hui c'est la fête. Et si je suis encore là dans 100ans, je vous le promets, je ne monopoliserai pas la parole encore une fois. Longue vie au Cycle des Collines !!! Et joyeuses fête à toutes et à toutes !!



On me demande de profiter de cet instant pour deux communications :

- la Directrice nous informe que le traditionnel repas gastronomique mensuel se fera au restaurant de La Pelure Radioactive, noté 19 1/2 au Gault et Millau. Comme d'habitude, le menu dégustation et les grands vins valaisans vous sont offerts par la Commission scolaire. Par contre, le parking sera à vos frais. Des négociations syndicales sur cet épineux sujet de discorde sont en cours.

- deuxièmement la formation continue de self défense et d'utilisation d'armes non létales en milieu scolaire hostile aura bien lieu. Le cours sera dédoublé vu le nombre important d'inscription. Rendez-vous mesdames, demain jeudi 18h00 en uniforme de combat et casque devant la salle de gym numéro 7.

Je vous remercie de votre attention.

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jeu
05
avr '12

Dire NON !


dessin Migros Magazine, article d'Alain Portner hop clic

"Le syndrome du Saint-Bernard
L’assujetti est celui qui ne sait pas dire «non!», qui se met en quatre pour satisfaire les besoins d’autrui. Jusqu’à s’oublier. Un mal d’amour et de reconnaissance qui se soigne selon le thérapeute Thierry Gaubert, auteur d’un récent ouvrage sur le sujet."


Maret Le Miblog